WHY DO WE WATCH BIG BOSS ?

I want to tear my hair, its exasperating, irritating, annoying, no ...not the programme , but my need to get a fix of it every day 9 pm. Its not just me I know....trillions and millions of Indians , hooked , transfixed , magnetised by Vindoo Singh blowing his nose, Shamita looking dumb, Rohit playing ,naradmuni' (he actually looks like one in his ghastly bedtime hairdo.....Tanaz and Bakhtiar fighting and then kootchi kooing while making up , really playing to the gallery......
And the so called intelligentsia actually gazing at them.

Is it voyerism, is it mindless watching , numbing our senses after a day's hard work or is it out of sheer lack of watchable material being provided by other channels. And to top it all, the Big B himself ,getting asssociated with such a crude programme......(I believe the moolah offered would make anyone take on this one !)

I really wonder how the seemingly intelligent Poonam Dhillon and Aditi Gowatrikar have lent their presence to such a programme. But why blame them. Maybe they need the moolah.....but what about us , we dont even get any money to watch this toilet display....and yet, day after day we mindlessly watch this senseless programme.

What fun watching Claudia cry, Ismailji lazing around, Raju cracking jokes....Grrrrrrrrrrr

I promise , I shall stop watching it from tomorrow.....but hey dude , I am told a new participant will be coming in....heard it could be the eccentric Rajesh Khanna.......also there will be a wild card entry....maybe KRK.....what fun.....

There I go again......can't jes beat it !

THE NEW LUX AD

Have you seen the new Lux beauty soap ad. For those of you who have caught this ad over the years , its always been seductive , a mesmerising quality and a larger than life portrayal , since it always starred some bollywood heroine ! She tempted you and teased you to try ,"her" soap !

Well its been Aishwarya for a while now and that's why I am disappointed with the new ad. It lacks the style of the earlier one's. And unfortunately Aishwarya skin seems to have lost its sparkle (is it age?) The ad is executed very ordinarily , and honestly, Aishwarya seems very disinterested while sailing through it. And then to show her in a teardrop , which cheekily reminds one of the Dabur Almond Drop hair oil ad! And finally bringing in Abhishek at the end of it was really in poor taste ! As far as I understood she was not promoting a, "Buy 1 get 1 free" scheme....take me and Abhishek comes free ....Touche !

I think this is where some FMCG's go wrong in their marketing. While it is a good idea to have the same brand ambassador to maintain the relevancy and aspirational quality of the product....the company must never forget the product and its attributes . Lux is a beauty soap and holding onto Aishwarya , when she is unable to hold on to her beauty... I feel, is unfair to the product and the ambassador.

HUL has to think of someone new and fresh for the ad .........it's serious ......they should not jesbeat it!

WHY CAN'T I SIT STILL

Its like an obsession with me....you know doing something all the time, keeping the creative juices flowing in some form or the other .......I am not too sure it's a good thing. These days I have nothing to really excite me so am getting a little crabby with myself.....

It is so contradictory ...when I am full upto my neck with work, I keep looking out for that patch of relaxation , waiting to spread my mat and go blank.....and when I am actually free of burdens, the restless bee in my head keeps buzzing , irritatingly......

Does it happen to you guys too......

Well, I have enrolled myself for a "Pranic healing" workshop for next week . Let me learn something new. I had undergone a few sessions of it when I was ailing and was totally impressed with the whole concept......want to go deeper into it....let's see

That's my problem.....can't jes beat it !

JULIE AND JULIA

Hey , I am sure most of you have forgotten me. I am really playing truant with my blog....no excuses , really had nothing interesting to say......but today i saw this film and it so much reminded me of me (always restless about fulfilling dreams)
Julie and Julia is the story of two women in different eras.....following similar dreams , they share a common passion ...that for cooking and how each one of them, in their time fulfill a dissatisfaction within them to do something more than the usual mundane life in which they are trapped. Both have extremely loving and supportive husbands who egg them on to fulfill their dreams.
It's a simple story, but so well told. The time zones are so beautifully portrayed..Paris in the early nineties and Queens in the US in year 2002 . It is based on a real life story. The cinematic treatment reminded me of Imtiaz Ali's , "Love Aaj Kal" , you know , two stories blending into each other .
Catch it if you can. However a warning to the vegetarians. Since it is full of scenes showing non-veg cooking, am not sure the visuals will be palatable to you........Go at your own risk !

I HAVE FINALLY ( I THINK ) GROWN UP !

Allow me , to let you in, to a secret of mine...

All my life , I have considered myself a strong girl and have also used this strength to help others....fine....not very fine really.....!

After giving advice to others , I also land up taking responsibilty for it, fretting over it, worrying about it....

To liberate myself from this self inflicted agony, many a times I have implored to myself to stop advicing ....well, I can't do that too.....advising comes naturally to me....so the best thing I ask of myself , is to stop taking responsibility for it.....I can't do that either....so who suffers most...well I do...

Confused ? don't be...let me explain....suppose someone asks me to suggest , where to invest their surplus money.... I usually tell them , what I have done in a similar situation and allow them to take a cue from it ! Fine....no, not at all.... because it does not end there for me....

What I land up doing is, I fret and worry about the consequences of my advice to them....well that is wrong !

I have been trying hard to work on it , but without much success . But today , I did it ! Someone who had seeked an advice from me , rang up to say , it had not worked for them....I actually replied , "Well it sometimes works and sometimes it does not".....it's 10 hours since the incident, and I have, as yet, not felt any guilt pangs about the advice I gave them..... ( I think I have grown up...finally)

Do remember , when we are born , we are born alone ( forget the stray twin cases) and we have our own individual cross's to bear. Our maker , gives each and ever one of us the intellect to work out our life. We are supposed to use this intellect for our own betterment and that of mankind ....but heylo , we are not responsible for any other individual ....

I can see some of you frowning, as not really convinced with my words , but let me tell you, the earlier you learn this , the better it is for you.....otherwise, like me, you too will land up using up more than half your energy , worrying about others or you will stop giving advice to others. Both I guess are extreme reactions.....take the middle path....

There I go advising you again ,but hey...take it or jesbeatit ! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE IF YOU CHANGE YOUR THINKING !

WHY I DID WHAT I DID

Its true! It takes jes a second for your world to go topsy turvy . I was stepping out with my niece to get some shopping done for her impending wedding , when I received a call that my 81 year old father was struck down by a car ! The first thing that happens in such a case is that , you go into denial , set your emotions aside and act as if you are outside the situation. I think I jes did that.

While my heart lurched to see him covered in blood, the first thing I thought of, was how to get him attended by a doctor. In the meantime , the three 20 year olds whose Honda city had done the grievous act were standing guiltily, waiting for a reaction ! I looked at them for a while, the gathered crowd waiting to see me act. I only remember asking the one who was driving, do you have a license ? Silly question for the moment don't you think ?

In the meantime , my niece rushed to get the family doctor....who suggested that we take him to a Government hospital and get a police case registered. The boys waited .....frightened out of their wits....I looked at them and said...,"OK now you takeover....take us to the nearest hospital"

Three pairs of trembling hands whisked away my father in the very same car that hurt him.
At the hospital, my niece and the three boys completely took over , getting him a wheelchair , holding his walking stick, standing there while the doctors attended to my father , stitches, cleanups, bill payments, X rays , while I just stood there as a bystander !

After keeping him under observation for a while , they let us go !

I looked back at the three frightened faces who had caused injury to my dad.. They had a college presentation which they had missed . I looked at them and jes said, "I made you go through the entire process of attending to him, only because I wanted you to see what damage a casual act of yours could lead to...there is a marriage coming up in the family, jes see how you could have snuffed our happiness, only because you were not careful. Was I sounding too preachy ...I know from the facial expressions of my near and dear ones , that they were not too happy at my letting them go off without a single harsh word.....

In retrospect I wondered why I behaved the way I did. I guess it was for two reasons, one, my first priority was to focus attention on my father and get an SOS for him and the other, were a few lines I remembered from Neil Wealsh's , "Conversation with GOD " , where he says, "every happening in life is preordained ....and that whatever a person does to us or vice versa is what was to be done through that person, whether he liked it or not ! " I guess it was an accident and they did not hit my pa on purpose......

I let them off, they too seemed shocked....they left their mobile nos. with me....one of them also said , if someone had done it to their father , they would have hit him...I smiled , I told them I would not waste my energy doing that, I would rather proioritise what I had to do jest then....I hoped my father recovered soon so that they too would not be in trouble.

I wonder why I am sharing all this with you... I know most of you reading this, are students....it's also about telling you ...please be careful ...with your life and that of others....

Dad's limping back to normalcy, I feel sad looking at his black eye , his bruises, and yet I am unable to hate those boys who did it to him....

Am I too passive and forgiving for the world ? Or do I like to jesbeatit ?

WHEN YOU MOVE ON IN A FRIENDSHIP.....

Has it ever happened with you ? As we grow in our thoughts , many a time we outgrow a friendship, which does not seem in sync with us anymore. How does one tackle such a situation then ?

To me there are two options, one , is to continue a make believe friendship with the person for old times sake and the other is to disconnect gradually . But , what if the other person does not read the signals and persists on carrying on the friendship ! There are yet others who don't know how to deal with the situation and stop talking to the person , abruptly which I think is not fair at all . You owe some dignity to every friendship that you have chosen to make !

I have a friend who can be very blunt and has, on an occassion or two done it with some friends whom she realised over time were the wrong choices. They were not wrong , as in they were harming her, but they failed to interest her , intellectually. When cornered while avoiding them, she truthfully told them, "Look , no offences meant....I think I have moved on" . I have admired her guts, because I find it so difficult to do it....

And here arises my dilemma . I cannot be blunt to tell someone I don't connect anymore and yet ,I cannot live a lie of being there , when actually I don't want to !

I often wonder , does this happen because I am trapped by my , "goody " image ? Is the image larger than me ? Or is it that I feel sad to reject someone for no fault of theirs. I know , someone may outgrow me too ( they have !) but I could cope. Then why do I suffer from this fear that other's can't.....

I welcome perspectives ! Don't want to jesbeatit !

ON BEING HAPPY......

What a subjective word. Have your ever wondered how this one word changes its meaning for us from age to age ?
As children , we realise it through a toy, a candy, an ice cream while you have a running nose, skipping a glass of milk, an outing....
As we grow older, happiness is all about grades, a class picnic, a great birthday party, a BEST friend, a loving pat from your favourite teacher ! They are all so easily reacheable.....
Then comes the terrible teens ! Happiness then is an , "unaffordable pair of branded jeans", a pair of really expensive high heels which you will soon outgrow, the barely a** covering denim skirt with a strappy , stringy "top" , frowned upon by family, extended family, neighbours and yet more neighbours, permission for the first , "late night party"....and finally a loving glance from that gorgeous neighbourhood hunk, who seems to notice everyone else but you.....
And the quest continues ....
In our twenties , happiness is all about getting a seat in THAT foreign University, getting the job that others are vying for , earning a pay packet others are envious about and finally marrying the guy others would kill you for....
Guess what ? It does not end there ....., it continues with a dream house, intelligent, hardworking, obedient,goodlooking children, the "neighbour's envy" car, the fat bank balance , appointment as the head of a company / business, the Swiss holiday.........
And the seeking is just never over......
Funny na ? Happiness is so illusory ! Have you noticed , the moment one "happiness" , is realised it just slips through our fingers , and , another need for happiness rears its head , seductively whispering , "I am the ultimate happiness" , and another ardent journey begins......
So ? Does one stop seeking it ? Certainly not !
As long as you realise that happiness and satiety will never be b** chums.....continue chasing it, and as the pendulum swings from , "happiness to "unhappiness", jes try keeping the balance ...
And if you can't... then jesbeatit !

I AM DOIN NOTHIN....

In these days of economic downturn , I guess the jobs are not easy to get by. Very often , I meet fresh graduates who are still struggling to find a foothold in the world of "jobs". On enquiry , most reply , " I am doing nothing"
Contradicting words. "Doing" on one hand and "Nothing" on the other....
Man cannot, not do anything at any point of time. If nothing physically, he/she is always thinking , you cannot keep your mind unattended, stagnant... there has to be constant movement of thoughts.
Jes remember, we are no less than the earth ! Just as you have to turn the spades , for the earth to yield crops , so also you have to consciously keep your mind ticking for it to discover new aspects about you , for you !
If the earth is not turned , it will harden. So also , if you do not keep yourself mentally agile, you too run the risk of standstilling !
Fuel yourself with enthusiasm all the time . More than intelligence , this is one asset which can make you win the world. Dream as much as you can. Plan the way you can fulfill it. Even if it seems impossible at the time, don't push it away...keep moving it forward.....
I have tried it umpteen times and believe me it has worked...may be not immediately , but eventually , yes...
The number of "rejection slips" my , "fictions" got , could make me a dupatta by joining them....but I never gave up...I kept sending them to others and yet others till eventually they got published !
I dread to think what I could have lost , if I had allowed my enthusiasm to slip !
So next time some one asks you, as to what you are doing ...jes say , "I am very busy with my thoughts these days"
c'mon ......jesbeatit !

IT'S THE DAY FOR THE TEACHER

What is the role of a teacher ? Is he/she the one who imparts knowledge ? Is he/she the one whom we look upto as a parent ? Is he/she the epitome of discipline ? or is he/she our dartboard, on whom we toss what we can't express in our homes .
Our's is a country in which the "Guru Shishya" parampara was very rampant and relevant. Does it still remain so ? If not , why have the equations changed ?
My octogenarian father says, in their times they could not imagine looking into the eye of their teacher, forget raising their voices at them. Not a reality any more I guess.....not if you read the newspapers !
What or who has changed the equation ? Is it the student or is it the teacher ? I think it is a bit of both.
With the exposure to knowledge , beyond the confines of our textbooks, knowledge is now available through the net , magazines, newspapers , other media and is not just limited to the teacher . Hence ,the teacher's importance gets a little diluted, so the adulation and admiration is not fixated on the teacher alone !
Also, some teacher's, in the course of their teaching, yield their knowledge as a means of empowering themselves to dominate in their roles !
While this might have worked earlier, it cannot yield results anymore. As mentioned earlier, with the kind of availibity of knowledge all around, you cannot ,"control" your students in this manner. Then , what's the solution ?
In the current times , the only way to earn respect from students is to be one with them, never let , "I am the teacher", get the better of you. The more you respect your students, treat them on a one to one basis , allowing them to be friendly without getting familiar, can you touch base with them. And ofcourse...update your knowledge on a day to day basis ! Let them recognise your passion to impart knowledge for their upgradation !
In times where each classroom is packed with more than sixty students, just an acknowledgement of their existence can make him connect with his teacher. Is that too much to ask of the teacher?
In a world , where we shall soon be recognised by a social security number or an email ID, a teacher calling his student by his first name can spell magic.
Well, what is a teacher without his students ? He too is nowhere !
When I see teacher's yielding their power of position over their students, it makes me sad. Because by doing so ,you are digging your own grave of disenchantment with them and eventually the system . Cliched as it may sound, it is true...Respect has to be earned......not demanded !
Students of the cuurent generation have more enlightened thinking , questioning minds and well reasoned out conclusions. You cannot thrust anything on them. They are quick to reject.
So teacher's who still think , they can play GOD........jesbeatit !

BIDDING ADIEU TO GANAPATI BAPPA......

This has been a ritual I have followed for the last 20 years.At the end of the 11 day festival, when its time to say goodbye to our dear friend , "Ganapati bappa', I walk the entire stretch from Khar Linking road upto the Juhu Lions garden, and hungrily capture with my ardent eyes as many idols that I can , seeeking their blessings !

Also , this is a time when I observe the people around me. Believe me , there is magic in the air. You almost have the entire city on the roads, fervently praying ,the air rending with, "Agle baras tu jaldi aa". What faith, what devotion, what hope ! I can never go through this without the familiar tears and lump in my throat ! (This too seems to have become a ritual)
There were Ganapatis travelling in Innova's,Maruti Zens, tempos, handcarts, buses, trucks, autos, taxis or simply being lovingly carried on the heads of the family members. I saw Ganapatis from 10 inches in height to 10 feet in height !

There was an 80 year old grandfather, clutching the hands of his tiny grandchild, urging her to fold her hands in prayer, a doctor couple standing next to me, were continuously on their mobiles, giving instructions on which medicine to administer to which patient. There were a group of casual labourers talking about some site on which they had to start work from the following day. At the Santacruz police station , the bystander's attention were momentarily diverted , as we saw a popular bollywood actor going into the police station , quarelling with another, while the familiar chant of "ganapati bappa morya" rang into the air. I hope everything went OK for him...A group of capri clad NRI kids kept scampering on the road. I caught one of them , curiously accepting a piece of sugar candy ,"prasad" and then , after much thought popping it into his mouth.

What hit me most , is the classlessness of the entire ritual.....All of us , rich or poor are there on the streets , acknowledging HIS power and control over our lives, actualising the fact, that without HIM , we are nothing . Amidst the maddening crowd, we all become equal, in our sorrow at the end of HIS visit to us. As we immerse Him in the water , the clay from the 10 inch idol and the 10 foot idle mesh, to melt in the sea , carrying with it the burden of the dreams and hopes of the millions of devotees !
Tomorrow we are back to playing , "I am the boss, you are my subordinate", quite forgetting that less than 24 hours ago......we all had just one BOSS and we stood 10 days in front of him, heads bowed, seeking his mercy, begging him for wish fulfillment, thanking him for whatever had come our way, loving him for taking care of us......and the moment HE returns to his abode....we start believing its all our doing ...Funny na?

Truly, when it come to Ganapati bappa......I jes can't beat it !

I GRUMBLED 'CAUSE I DID NOT HAVE SHOES....

Most of us have heard the quotation, "I grumbled because I did not have shoes , till I saw someone who did not have feet ", in other words , " I felt consoled , on seeing someone , worse off than me.....how cheap ......that's how I feel !
If I am miserable , I should be miserable within myself....try to come off it ...myself , rather than run around with an imaginary tape , seeking people who are in deeper sorrow than me ...and....(disgusting) feel better !
Each one's sorrow is their biggest within their perspective .......why should we compare it to ours !
It seems as if one is gleefully trying to calm their sorrow by watching those of others ! What voyeurism! No...not done !
I would rather, one expend their energy aleviating their own sorrow rather than continue in their cesspool of misery , pacifying themselves that they are better off than the one drowning in their sea of sorrows !

What say ?.......or jesbeat it !

WHEN NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK

Sounds familiar ? Has to ! At some point or the other we wish to punch right into the air. Just why? why do things not go our way ? It could be a non happening career, a non happening relationship.....or just nothing going the way we want it to go.....Just why ?
Frustration builds its own citadel around us and poisons the air we breathe in, suffocating our journey , aborting before we reach the goal......
Guess what ? Almost always .....its not true. The real reason being, that most of us give up, jes before we reach the winning post , because we don't know the placement of the post ! If only we knew that would have made our journey so much easier....would'nt it ! But then the journey would be no fun !
When we want things to get done, most of us believe that it is going to be a smooth run....you wish and it happens ! Whoop ! Nah ....not so easy , every goal is backed by a tedious journey... because there is more to learn from the journey than the goal, we are being tested all the while for our strength to hold on , pull on..c'mon success is not so easy ...you have to show consistent interest inspite of the odds, even if you get choked, clear the clog..move on.......Remember, the bigger the goal, the harsher the journey.....That is the truth of it all !
It's just that the success stories we hear, almost always fast forwards the toil behind reaching there....no one wants to narrate a sad story......no one wants to scratch their wounds of failure and expose their raw reality...since now, they have got it all !
The mantra is DON'T give up trying ,however tired you may be......jesbeatit !

AGONY AUNT...WHO ME ?

Someone , whom I had invited to read my blog asked me, what it was all about. When I told him my vision...he turned around and asked me...what are you getting to be an ,
"agony aunt ?"....I felt insulted ...dunno if its 'cause he called me an ,"aunt" or 'cause he made me feel like a vendor of "agony". Hell no..I am none of these . The truth, "me Lord" is that the Blog is my way of connecting with people , who are normal, face life full on and hence will be at cross roads from time to time. My humble attempt will be to be a sign post showing them my way......the way I see it , and if they gain from the sign post ....jolly good. If not....(shrug shrug)
Seriously , if any one out there wants a free opinion on anything ( strictly on life issues only) .....do write in .....I may not give the right views (what is right ?).....but for sure will give a response which will tease your thinking cells.....waiting to jesbeatit !

On Broken Dreams

Yesterday , I watched , as a friend's long standing dream got smashed. I did not move forward to console , because there is no consolation...I have been through that path ever so often. I know how it feels ! Its as if some body has pricked a pin into your balloon of dreams. The only difference in this case being , that the pin keeps pricking even after the balloon is deflated. Then how to soothe the wound exposed to an atmosphere where it cannot heal ?
The best way is to remain quiet in one's pain, cry if you must, because someday or the other you have to get over it, move on because , as they say , dreams keep changing and hope, is one such , "never say die " emotion that dwells in the most negative of us. Sooner or later it will rear its head and work for another dream to get fulfilled !

That's the spirit of man , and a broken spirit is our own creation and not one given by the creator ....So dream on ........to jesbeat it !

On Being Remembered

The other day at a social do, we were discussing as to how we would like to be remembered after we were dead. Most said they would like to be remembered as , "good human beings" ! Cliched answers , but I guess it made them happy . When posed to me , I replied that I did not want to be remembered at all ! For the kind of vibrancy and energy I exude , I guess no one believed me. But it IS the truth. Imagine carrying my ego with me even in death ! Every tiny success that I have enjoyed in life has not only humbled me but has also made me conscious of the bigger hand that is working through me. Then what's mine to hold on to ?
Whenever anyone has thanked me for touching their lives , believe me , I have been embarassed, why ? Simple ......Thanks to my chatter box nature , there are so many people who are a part of my life ...so many of them are not impressed about me, or anything about me. Then where is my credit ?
If I have touched anybody's life , the credit goes to them , for being open to change or emulate something with which they connect. Its about their growth , without stunting me.I guess I am also a concoction of the influence of so many people and books !
Then what is it that I should be wanting to hold onto ? Life is a journey , let me travel , lightweight !
Huh , jesbeatit !

On feeling low....

Why is it that on somedays we feel low, "just"....there apparently seems no reason so we claim to be upset, "just".....When you are low for a reason then atleast we give vent to it, scream , shout or fight with the object of cause.....But when it is "just". I have friends who say when they feel low, they escape it by going in for , 'retail therapy', movies, a sinful chocolate tart.....
That set me thinking as to how I behave under the circumstances. Surprisingly I concluded that I wallow in it. That's my way of coping...on its face and often I have found that the subconscious mind tells me quite plainly why I am feeling low and acknowledging it, actually makes me feel better....We all have a , "self image' and many a time when we are low for a reason which does not fit into our, 'self image' we sort of push it at the back as if it does not matter , when actually it does. I guess the idea is to be honest to oneself. Only then can you come off any situation. look into it straight and jesbeatit !

Trust , what a pious word, something that I hold so close to me, a word i so revere and respect. So then,how should I react if I begin doubting someone whom i care about , if he/she starts displaying a distrustful side to them. Should I give up on the person or should I accept the person for what he/she is.

When someone lets you down, one reacts in two ways, first, ferocious anger, second, bitter pain. In trying to decifer the reasons behind both, a truth emerges . Both our reactions are due to us... not the other, the anger stems out of the feeling, "how dare someone make a fool of me..."Me" its your personal humiliation that someone has got the better of you.The second is intense pain as to , "How could someone hurt me...."Me"

So then , if it is all about me and my reactions, why do I blame the person who is distrustful. It is actually less about him/her and more about me and my reaction to a situation.

So, then what ...I feel I would continue caring , but maybe get a little cautious , till such time that something jes dies in me ...again "Me" and I move on to protect myself..."Myself"

I guess that's the best way to jesbeatit !