WHY I DID WHAT I DID

Its true! It takes jes a second for your world to go topsy turvy . I was stepping out with my niece to get some shopping done for her impending wedding , when I received a call that my 81 year old father was struck down by a car ! The first thing that happens in such a case is that , you go into denial , set your emotions aside and act as if you are outside the situation. I think I jes did that.

While my heart lurched to see him covered in blood, the first thing I thought of, was how to get him attended by a doctor. In the meantime , the three 20 year olds whose Honda city had done the grievous act were standing guiltily, waiting for a reaction ! I looked at them for a while, the gathered crowd waiting to see me act. I only remember asking the one who was driving, do you have a license ? Silly question for the moment don't you think ?

In the meantime , my niece rushed to get the family doctor....who suggested that we take him to a Government hospital and get a police case registered. The boys waited .....frightened out of their wits....I looked at them and said...,"OK now you takeover....take us to the nearest hospital"

Three pairs of trembling hands whisked away my father in the very same car that hurt him.
At the hospital, my niece and the three boys completely took over , getting him a wheelchair , holding his walking stick, standing there while the doctors attended to my father , stitches, cleanups, bill payments, X rays , while I just stood there as a bystander !

After keeping him under observation for a while , they let us go !

I looked back at the three frightened faces who had caused injury to my dad.. They had a college presentation which they had missed . I looked at them and jes said, "I made you go through the entire process of attending to him, only because I wanted you to see what damage a casual act of yours could lead to...there is a marriage coming up in the family, jes see how you could have snuffed our happiness, only because you were not careful. Was I sounding too preachy ...I know from the facial expressions of my near and dear ones , that they were not too happy at my letting them go off without a single harsh word.....

In retrospect I wondered why I behaved the way I did. I guess it was for two reasons, one, my first priority was to focus attention on my father and get an SOS for him and the other, were a few lines I remembered from Neil Wealsh's , "Conversation with GOD " , where he says, "every happening in life is preordained ....and that whatever a person does to us or vice versa is what was to be done through that person, whether he liked it or not ! " I guess it was an accident and they did not hit my pa on purpose......

I let them off, they too seemed shocked....they left their mobile nos. with me....one of them also said , if someone had done it to their father , they would have hit him...I smiled , I told them I would not waste my energy doing that, I would rather proioritise what I had to do jest then....I hoped my father recovered soon so that they too would not be in trouble.

I wonder why I am sharing all this with you... I know most of you reading this, are students....it's also about telling you ...please be careful ...with your life and that of others....

Dad's limping back to normalcy, I feel sad looking at his black eye , his bruises, and yet I am unable to hate those boys who did it to him....

Am I too passive and forgiving for the world ? Or do I like to jesbeatit ?

WHEN YOU MOVE ON IN A FRIENDSHIP.....

Has it ever happened with you ? As we grow in our thoughts , many a time we outgrow a friendship, which does not seem in sync with us anymore. How does one tackle such a situation then ?

To me there are two options, one , is to continue a make believe friendship with the person for old times sake and the other is to disconnect gradually . But , what if the other person does not read the signals and persists on carrying on the friendship ! There are yet others who don't know how to deal with the situation and stop talking to the person , abruptly which I think is not fair at all . You owe some dignity to every friendship that you have chosen to make !

I have a friend who can be very blunt and has, on an occassion or two done it with some friends whom she realised over time were the wrong choices. They were not wrong , as in they were harming her, but they failed to interest her , intellectually. When cornered while avoiding them, she truthfully told them, "Look , no offences meant....I think I have moved on" . I have admired her guts, because I find it so difficult to do it....

And here arises my dilemma . I cannot be blunt to tell someone I don't connect anymore and yet ,I cannot live a lie of being there , when actually I don't want to !

I often wonder , does this happen because I am trapped by my , "goody " image ? Is the image larger than me ? Or is it that I feel sad to reject someone for no fault of theirs. I know , someone may outgrow me too ( they have !) but I could cope. Then why do I suffer from this fear that other's can't.....

I welcome perspectives ! Don't want to jesbeatit !

ON BEING HAPPY......

What a subjective word. Have your ever wondered how this one word changes its meaning for us from age to age ?
As children , we realise it through a toy, a candy, an ice cream while you have a running nose, skipping a glass of milk, an outing....
As we grow older, happiness is all about grades, a class picnic, a great birthday party, a BEST friend, a loving pat from your favourite teacher ! They are all so easily reacheable.....
Then comes the terrible teens ! Happiness then is an , "unaffordable pair of branded jeans", a pair of really expensive high heels which you will soon outgrow, the barely a** covering denim skirt with a strappy , stringy "top" , frowned upon by family, extended family, neighbours and yet more neighbours, permission for the first , "late night party"....and finally a loving glance from that gorgeous neighbourhood hunk, who seems to notice everyone else but you.....
And the quest continues ....
In our twenties , happiness is all about getting a seat in THAT foreign University, getting the job that others are vying for , earning a pay packet others are envious about and finally marrying the guy others would kill you for....
Guess what ? It does not end there ....., it continues with a dream house, intelligent, hardworking, obedient,goodlooking children, the "neighbour's envy" car, the fat bank balance , appointment as the head of a company / business, the Swiss holiday.........
And the seeking is just never over......
Funny na ? Happiness is so illusory ! Have you noticed , the moment one "happiness" , is realised it just slips through our fingers , and , another need for happiness rears its head , seductively whispering , "I am the ultimate happiness" , and another ardent journey begins......
So ? Does one stop seeking it ? Certainly not !
As long as you realise that happiness and satiety will never be b** chums.....continue chasing it, and as the pendulum swings from , "happiness to "unhappiness", jes try keeping the balance ...
And if you can't... then jesbeatit !

I AM DOIN NOTHIN....

In these days of economic downturn , I guess the jobs are not easy to get by. Very often , I meet fresh graduates who are still struggling to find a foothold in the world of "jobs". On enquiry , most reply , " I am doing nothing"
Contradicting words. "Doing" on one hand and "Nothing" on the other....
Man cannot, not do anything at any point of time. If nothing physically, he/she is always thinking , you cannot keep your mind unattended, stagnant... there has to be constant movement of thoughts.
Jes remember, we are no less than the earth ! Just as you have to turn the spades , for the earth to yield crops , so also you have to consciously keep your mind ticking for it to discover new aspects about you , for you !
If the earth is not turned , it will harden. So also , if you do not keep yourself mentally agile, you too run the risk of standstilling !
Fuel yourself with enthusiasm all the time . More than intelligence , this is one asset which can make you win the world. Dream as much as you can. Plan the way you can fulfill it. Even if it seems impossible at the time, don't push it away...keep moving it forward.....
I have tried it umpteen times and believe me it has worked...may be not immediately , but eventually , yes...
The number of "rejection slips" my , "fictions" got , could make me a dupatta by joining them....but I never gave up...I kept sending them to others and yet others till eventually they got published !
I dread to think what I could have lost , if I had allowed my enthusiasm to slip !
So next time some one asks you, as to what you are doing ...jes say , "I am very busy with my thoughts these days"
c'mon ......jesbeatit !

IT'S THE DAY FOR THE TEACHER

What is the role of a teacher ? Is he/she the one who imparts knowledge ? Is he/she the one whom we look upto as a parent ? Is he/she the epitome of discipline ? or is he/she our dartboard, on whom we toss what we can't express in our homes .
Our's is a country in which the "Guru Shishya" parampara was very rampant and relevant. Does it still remain so ? If not , why have the equations changed ?
My octogenarian father says, in their times they could not imagine looking into the eye of their teacher, forget raising their voices at them. Not a reality any more I guess.....not if you read the newspapers !
What or who has changed the equation ? Is it the student or is it the teacher ? I think it is a bit of both.
With the exposure to knowledge , beyond the confines of our textbooks, knowledge is now available through the net , magazines, newspapers , other media and is not just limited to the teacher . Hence ,the teacher's importance gets a little diluted, so the adulation and admiration is not fixated on the teacher alone !
Also, some teacher's, in the course of their teaching, yield their knowledge as a means of empowering themselves to dominate in their roles !
While this might have worked earlier, it cannot yield results anymore. As mentioned earlier, with the kind of availibity of knowledge all around, you cannot ,"control" your students in this manner. Then , what's the solution ?
In the current times , the only way to earn respect from students is to be one with them, never let , "I am the teacher", get the better of you. The more you respect your students, treat them on a one to one basis , allowing them to be friendly without getting familiar, can you touch base with them. And ofcourse...update your knowledge on a day to day basis ! Let them recognise your passion to impart knowledge for their upgradation !
In times where each classroom is packed with more than sixty students, just an acknowledgement of their existence can make him connect with his teacher. Is that too much to ask of the teacher?
In a world , where we shall soon be recognised by a social security number or an email ID, a teacher calling his student by his first name can spell magic.
Well, what is a teacher without his students ? He too is nowhere !
When I see teacher's yielding their power of position over their students, it makes me sad. Because by doing so ,you are digging your own grave of disenchantment with them and eventually the system . Cliched as it may sound, it is true...Respect has to be earned......not demanded !
Students of the cuurent generation have more enlightened thinking , questioning minds and well reasoned out conclusions. You cannot thrust anything on them. They are quick to reject.
So teacher's who still think , they can play GOD........jesbeatit !

BIDDING ADIEU TO GANAPATI BAPPA......

This has been a ritual I have followed for the last 20 years.At the end of the 11 day festival, when its time to say goodbye to our dear friend , "Ganapati bappa', I walk the entire stretch from Khar Linking road upto the Juhu Lions garden, and hungrily capture with my ardent eyes as many idols that I can , seeeking their blessings !

Also , this is a time when I observe the people around me. Believe me , there is magic in the air. You almost have the entire city on the roads, fervently praying ,the air rending with, "Agle baras tu jaldi aa". What faith, what devotion, what hope ! I can never go through this without the familiar tears and lump in my throat ! (This too seems to have become a ritual)
There were Ganapatis travelling in Innova's,Maruti Zens, tempos, handcarts, buses, trucks, autos, taxis or simply being lovingly carried on the heads of the family members. I saw Ganapatis from 10 inches in height to 10 feet in height !

There was an 80 year old grandfather, clutching the hands of his tiny grandchild, urging her to fold her hands in prayer, a doctor couple standing next to me, were continuously on their mobiles, giving instructions on which medicine to administer to which patient. There were a group of casual labourers talking about some site on which they had to start work from the following day. At the Santacruz police station , the bystander's attention were momentarily diverted , as we saw a popular bollywood actor going into the police station , quarelling with another, while the familiar chant of "ganapati bappa morya" rang into the air. I hope everything went OK for him...A group of capri clad NRI kids kept scampering on the road. I caught one of them , curiously accepting a piece of sugar candy ,"prasad" and then , after much thought popping it into his mouth.

What hit me most , is the classlessness of the entire ritual.....All of us , rich or poor are there on the streets , acknowledging HIS power and control over our lives, actualising the fact, that without HIM , we are nothing . Amidst the maddening crowd, we all become equal, in our sorrow at the end of HIS visit to us. As we immerse Him in the water , the clay from the 10 inch idol and the 10 foot idle mesh, to melt in the sea , carrying with it the burden of the dreams and hopes of the millions of devotees !
Tomorrow we are back to playing , "I am the boss, you are my subordinate", quite forgetting that less than 24 hours ago......we all had just one BOSS and we stood 10 days in front of him, heads bowed, seeking his mercy, begging him for wish fulfillment, thanking him for whatever had come our way, loving him for taking care of us......and the moment HE returns to his abode....we start believing its all our doing ...Funny na?

Truly, when it come to Ganapati bappa......I jes can't beat it !

I GRUMBLED 'CAUSE I DID NOT HAVE SHOES....

Most of us have heard the quotation, "I grumbled because I did not have shoes , till I saw someone who did not have feet ", in other words , " I felt consoled , on seeing someone , worse off than me.....how cheap ......that's how I feel !
If I am miserable , I should be miserable within myself....try to come off it ...myself , rather than run around with an imaginary tape , seeking people who are in deeper sorrow than me ...and....(disgusting) feel better !
Each one's sorrow is their biggest within their perspective .......why should we compare it to ours !
It seems as if one is gleefully trying to calm their sorrow by watching those of others ! What voyeurism! No...not done !
I would rather, one expend their energy aleviating their own sorrow rather than continue in their cesspool of misery , pacifying themselves that they are better off than the one drowning in their sea of sorrows !

What say ?.......or jesbeat it !